Zimbabwe To Invade Botswana? The Far East?

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Not for the first time, Denford Magora has made a prophecy that Comrade Bob is about to invade Botswana. And Jestina Mukoko is paying the price of being openly associated with Morgan Tsvangirai.



The chaos and lawlessness increase. Dark times are becoming darker.



But do not worry. Amai and Bob have an increasing numbers of roofs under which they can lay their heads. And estate agents all over South East Asia are making big profits.

From The Book Of Robert

Robert 25: 14 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a Far Eastern country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.
17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.
18 But he that had received one realised that it was USD 10 Million and he went and flew to Switzerland and deposited his lord's money.

19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things.
22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things.
24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
25 And I was was exceeding clever, and went and hid thy money in the Union Bank of Switzerland: lo, there thou hast that is thine, but if you punish me, you will not have the money, nor yet will Amai.
26 His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:
27 Thou hast put my money to the exchangers, that at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
28 So I am happy not to take the talent from you, that you give it unto Amai which hath ten million talents.
29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
30 And cast ye the good and faihtful servants into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. And cholera. And malnutrition. But Zimbabwe is mine.

A Merry Christmas

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Many Zimbabweans have no passport but are fleeing to South Africa across the Limpopo. Morgan Tsvangirai’s passport may be released to him so he can return to Zimbabwe from Botswana. How fortunate that the Mugabe family all have money and valid diplomatic passports to allow them to gather as a family in the Far East.

There is no cholera there, no shortage of food; the children go to good schools. There is plenty to buy, for resident and visitor alike.

I hoped that we would have a Christmas Message from the President saying that he was leaving his country for a Christmas holiday so that there would be fewer mouths to eat our meagre supplies. But as he hasn't left a message, let me:

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
May a Mugabe-free Christmas bring us good cheer!

Vakomana Muno Mune Corruption

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I told you yesterday that Amai had been helping the Vietnamese economy and ensuring that the Vietnamese have clean water to drink.

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Amai clearly does not understand the "Look East" policy. You and I might think we know what this policy is about, but Amai seems to think that it is a way of externalising forex to poor Vietnam,(well, getting Gideon Gono to pay USD 100,000 for her), rather than getting USD 100,000 for poor Zimbabwe. Or maybe she misunderstood what Gono meant when he talked about the "Casino Economy": it doesn't mean gambling away the nation's wealth. (Actually, maybe that's what Gono does mean!)

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And what did she externalise this money for? To buy a statue of herself in what I hope is not a typical pose.

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Perhaps it would not be so bad if she was buying works of art of real merit, that we could sell after she goes for the benefit of the people of Zimbabwe. This isn't graceful: it's tasteless. How many bottles of water could I buy for USD 100,000? How many outbreaks of disease could I prevent with the millions she has spent on herself in the last eighteen months, the millions Gono says he hasn't got? "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness."

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And this story of Vietnam is just the tip of the iceberg. Why not stay reading this blog, and I will tell you more.

Party Conference At Bindura

So, the Party Conference will have its big opening ceremony tomorrow at Bindura, and I am reflecting on how relevant this is. I see a cholera epidemic that ravages my country on one hand, and on another I see an assembly of people who are interested only in making sure they stay in power.

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Who will be there? Will Amai make an appearance? It depends whether she can spare the time. Will she run the risk of catching the cholera? Will she let her dear husband?

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Perhaps for her safety she ought to pay another of her important diplomatic missions to Asia. In these times, a one woman "Look East" policy could be an important insurance for us. With her spending power, she can stabilise the economies of Vietnam and Thailand all by herself. She can make sure Vietnamese sculptors earn enough for a bowl of rice every day, and that Thai jewellers and funiture makers can keep on paying their taxes to ensure that clean water is available in every Vietnamese and Thai province.

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As she is so important to them, do you think they might keep her?

My Country

ZIMBABWE!